Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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