Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
