he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize