You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
He keeps bees of course he's weird
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Randomize
