fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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