butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
Randomize
