I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
