I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
Randomize
