I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
