Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
