I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
Randomize
