If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
