I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
