porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
then he tried to convert me to islam
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
