I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Randomize
