I'm so drunk that I ordered a root beer at the bar. Whoops?
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I THINK I JUST JOINED A GANG. PLEASE PICK ME UP.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
