I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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