you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
