i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
