and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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