every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
