I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Randomize
