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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize