my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
He called me at 4am to ask me to marry him, then threw up into the phone for 10 minutes.
I need to sanitize my soul.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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