During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
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