this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
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