My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
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