Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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