Your face is a jimmy john
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
