3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
