Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize
