Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
Randomize
