NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
