i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Let's paint friendship bongs
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
