Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
