**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Randomize