Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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