Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I am going to bedazzle the shit out of your Basilisk costume.
Randomize
