They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I'd just like to give a shout out to jesus and plan b for making this day possible.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
