How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
