The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
