fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
