Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
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