Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
he puts the penis in happiness.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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