this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
There's even glitter on my cock...
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