she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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