i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
Randomize
