Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.

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(678): View more from Georgia

How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?

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(315): View more from New York

i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?

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(562): View more from California

I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.

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(812): View more from Indiana

I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.

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(541): View more from Oregon

I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason

Fav 26 936 1999
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(925): View more from California

Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?

(1-925): View more from California

Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.

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(919): View more from North Carolina

I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."

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