I CAN MOONWALK!
It's like God shit irony all over that family
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize