Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
Randomize
