Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Idk, apparently drinking five Four Loko's and trying to fight a mailbox constitutes disorderly conduct.
Randomize
