So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
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