1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Use "feeling words"
Yay
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
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