New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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