clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
