Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
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