that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i just google imaged poop.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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